Few can boast of how delicious their baked beans are and the quality of the teeth they create, aside from my wife Blanca’s recipe. You will love your baked beans and it will either increase the quality of your teeth or your money back, wait, you are not paying anything for this recipe.

The only requirement is that you must say this rhyme out loud while serving the beans to your family and guests. It’s kind of weird, if you promise to do that your baked bean dish will turn out to be deliciously delicious and a huge hit, if not, well, you’re on your own. This is an old family legend dating back to the days of Captain Cook or was it Pocahontas, well she was someone who carved a niche for herself in history and was a skilled off-road vehicle.

Here’s the rhyme: “Beans, beans the musical fruit the more you eat, the more pitas, the more pitas, the better you feel, so eat Blanca’s baked beans at every meal.” Now it wasn’t so much fun!


5 different types of beans

1 large can of butter beans

1 large can of Spanish red beans

1 large can of kidney beans

1 large can of pinto beans

1 large can of chickpeas

1 large onion, minced

1 large green bell pepper, chopped

2 cups of tomato sauce

3 tablespoons apple cider vinegar

1 tablespoon minced garlic

¼ cup brown sugar

1 cup molasses

teaspoon mustard powder

2 bay leaves

½ pound bacon, thickly sliced

Cayenne pepper to taste, we like it very much, you will create a flamethrower.


Be sure to drain the cans of beans and rinse the beans. You can substitute dried beans for canned beans, but obviously you will have to soak the beans overnight before you can use them.

Using a large bowl mix all the ingredients and place in a baking dish, preferably Pyrex type and cover the bean mixture with aluminum foil, place in an oven preheated to 275 degrees. Cook for four to five hours, uncover the foil the last 30 minutes in the oven and serve hot, and let it begin to mince. One option is to put ½ teaspoon of baking soda in the bean mixture to reduce the effects of the beans, but then it couldn’t be called a “baked beans recipe with teeth”, could it?

Don’t be afraid to break a little wind, or let one rip or come loose. Hey, farts are as old as life itself. When you feel the need and are around people you want to impress or don’t want to be embarrassed about, here are a few. pet names It can be used to break the ice, so to speak.

These little names have been passed down over the centuries to describe simple old farts. It is a way to add a little dignity to the event. When the situation arises, simply use the pet’s name how was that …flatulence”-this is used when you are around a group of wealthy medical students, intellects, college professors and doctors “general bomb “-something essential at pajama parties, “botty burp “– for dancers, all types of dancers, except in strip clubs “bull snort “-bullfighters and most of the spectators “,cheek squeak “-librarians and bachelor teachers “,trumpet sound “-the members of the orchestra and the conductor, of course, “chemical warfare “- military commanders, and even the Chief of Staff, of course he will not admit it, he will only say that he is classified. “murderer of chile “-food servers in Mexican restaurants “crispy frogs “-rainforest guides and Tarzan, “duck call’-hunters and good boys chewing tobacco “,combined wax “-Fast food employees and must be run in quick succession. “fartrogen dioxide “- chemical engineers who possibly worked on atomic projects, “fickle fuzz” –bartenders and indecisive policemen “, mushroom maker “-mushroom growers and bat trainers “ fire in the hole “- demolition experts and workers watching, “flabbergaster” –anyone trying to impress someone and then screw it up, tabloid commenters too “,fly breaking the sound barrier “-Testpilots, and a test pilot want to be, “Foo Foo” –cook in a Chinese restaurant “frump “- Egocentric and Selfish Commercial Landlords “,bark orders “- professional trainers, but with the screaming crowd no one will listen anyway, “Crosswind” –Commercial airline pilots hoping flight attendants won’t bring them coffee at the time, they may have heard one pilot tell the other, quite a headwind today, well, the secrets. “kabooms “-music singers from the fifties, laughing gas- party guests who just can’t stop laughing, sometimes leading to repeated farts, Mouthfuls of love disgruntled bakery employees, methane magic, landfill bulldozer operator, Moonlighthippies and marijuana bosses, morning thunderteenagers who don’t like to get up in the morning and challenge you to enter their room, mouse chirpIT operators who look at everyone else trying to put the blame, “Casual perfume” – status seekers at a social gathering, “little pooh “- kids who can’t take the blame and point at Winnie “popcorn fart “-at least the beans weren’t blamed for this one, prison Break-prisoners who know that it is the closest they are to getting out, “purple clouds”, tornado hunters and people living in grass huts, putt-putts-grandmothers and miniature golfers “,rectal turbulence “- people who fly at thirty thousand feet or more and cannot contain it, roar of rectumzoo keepers and lion trainers, “ripsnorter” –a redneck drinking beer with a pitbull by his side “silent goal violent”-someone you don’t want to be sitting with on a plane, train or car, or in church “heavenly aroma “priests, ministers and rabbis. There go folks, now they wear any of these pet names that suit the occasion and impress your universities.

If any of you have the Victorian Principles and this review offends you, well, I tell you … don’t worry, be happy, laugh a lot, smile often and whistle where and when you feel like it. Now that you know all this pet names It can be a hit at any social event and handle it eloquently when the occasion arises and you need to break the wind a bit. Happy tooting.

Blanca’s – Tooth Baked Beans Recipe

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