For as many years as I can remember, society held that the mother was the most important person in a child’s development. She was the nurturer, the caretaker, the one who met all the needs of her child. And most of us never question that.

Now, however, with more stay-at-home parents raising their children, we see that this is not really true. I have always known that parents play a very important role in a child’s life. She serves as a role model for her sons, both positive and negative, and teaches her daughters what to expect from their future boyfriends and husbands.

If a father abuses his daughter, this is what she will expect from her male relationships. It may be painful, but it will most likely be accepted because it is familiar.

The same can be said of sounds. If he sees his father abusing his mother or his sisters, he probably feels comfortable doing the same to his girlfriends and his wife. If he is the one being abused by his father, he could use his fists against anyone who is weaker than him. No doubt he will have a store of anger and become a bully, just like his father.

But, for children who have loving parents, they will most likely try to emulate you if for the sole reason that children always want parental approval and love.

Never underestimate the influence of a father. He wields a lot of influence, not only if he is a major presence in the house, but also if he is an absent presence. If the father has abandoned his family or if his work takes him away from home most of the time, that absence is a living reminder of what his children are missing.

I don’t know why that is, but have you ever seen a woman trying to get her child to brush her teeth and go to bed, or a woman trying to get her dog to obey her commands?

A woman often has to repeat herself but, a word from the man and her son brushes his teeth and lies down immediately, and his dog obeys him without a whimper.

The time is fast approaching when society will recognize that the importance of men in raising children is equal to that of women. And in due course, the courts will grant parents more privileges than they currently do.

by Connie H. Deutsch

father’s influence

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