So you want your ex back. And you’re the only one of you two who wants that right now. Your ex has told it like it is, and he left little to no doubt about the decision. That does NOT mean that all hope is lost. Instead, now is your chance to literally start performing alchemy on your relationship.
Before you get too excited, this doesn’t mean the two of you will be back in each other’s arms tomorrow. Or next week. However, if you play your cards right, not only do you have a very good chance of a permanent reunion; you can also make your relationship stronger and more exciting than ever.
Sounds good? So, let’s get to work.
The first general rule: moderation.
Do you feel like sending her a text message? Whose. Facebook? Stay away. The same goes for any other type of communication right now.
The same thing happens a bit later when the two of you are ready to start having conversations again. Many couples have a “second career” after breaking up, but it rarely lasts. Why? Because the person who was originally abandoned is moving too fast.
At the first sign of serious interest, he makes his move. Things seem great again, but in no time, they fall apart again. Only this time, it’s forever. C’est fini.
The reason this happens is that once you get back together, the old issues that damaged the relationship in the first place come back. The only way to remedy this is to take full responsibility for those issues, resolve them, and THEN start taking steps to get together.
In other words, you have to take small steps to go from breaking up to making up.
What is effective in the re-bonding process are the small steps. Drinking coffee could be a baby step. But it could also be too big a step. So could a simple conversation. In fact, often taking a step or two BACKWARDS creates the desired effect much faster.
Example: Write a written letter to your ex where YOU AGREE with the breakup. The handwritten part works so much better than typing, because it’s unexpected.
The letter itself works so dramatically because it creates a vacuum on your ex’s part. This small move alone can cause your ex to actually start pursuing you, not the other way around. But again, when that happens, it’s critical that you make the right moves from there.