In a recent article, I discussed the question of whether tickling (a child, a friend, or a boyfriend/girlfriend) is just clean fun or if it can be considered abuse. Interestingly, when researching both articles, I found that most of the search results for “tickle abuse”, “tickle abuse”, and “tickle abuse” were for erotic websites.

When I read that first article to a group of professional colleagues, I was surprised by the response: while I wasn’t sure if anyone would “get it,” in fact, everyone started to nod knowingly, and a couple of people had their own stories. say. Clearly, he was onto something.

Why is tickling so popular, and how does it go unnoticed as a form of abuse?

I believe the answer lies in the fact that the victim involuntarily disguises their own discomfort (both physical and emotional) with the resulting involuntary laughter. Even if the tickle knows that the person being tickled doesn’t like it, may plead ignorance of the fact by calling attention to the apparent joy of the victim.

While many ticklers may, in fact, ignore the pain they are causing, others know it and don’t care. In my research, I have come across victims of tickle abuse who have stated that they told their tormentors (in between tickle sessions) that they didn’t like it. Prearranged “stop” signs were ignored. And it may be worth noting that the ticklers mentioned were, with the exception of one stepmother, male (husband, boyfriend, father, or older brother) and virtually always larger, sometimes by a considerable margin.

Now consider the following discoveries:

o Victims described their tormentors as “sadists” and “thugs.”

o A ticklish parent called his children “sissies” when they complained.

o Victims stated that he “holds me down so I don’t run away”, “he doesn’t take me seriously when I say ‘stop’”, “I can’t defend myself” and “I thought I was going to die”.

o Victims stated that they could not breathe, cried, choked, gagged, wet their pants, felt sick, and/or vomited.

o One victim called tickling “a terrible humiliation tool.”

I will mention again that various ancient cultures have used tickling as a form of torture.

In short, while a person who enjoys tickling others may, for a while, get away with the claim that he (or she) doesn’t realize the victim isn’t having fun, it quickly becomes clear that he knows but doesn’t. I don’t mind. Not respecting another person’s boundaries is abuse. Restraining a person against that person’s will is abuse. Touching a person in a way that they don’t want to be touched is abuse. Period.

If you are a victim of abusive tickling, you should know that you have every right to complain, ask for help, call the authorities, ask your torturer for advice, and/or get out of the relationship.

If you are the tickle abuser, stop. Get help. Find an acceptable outlet for your attacks. and/or go out