one) I was just kidding.

This is the classic excuse that most bullies will use when they are accused of verbal abuse. Teasing usually happens between friends. Verbal abuse happens to the weakest students who can’t stand up for themselves. If you know that the two students involved in the incident are not friends, you can be sure that it was not just a prank. Also, teasing turns into bullying when it happens frequently and over a period of time.

2) I didn’t mean to hurt him.

Bullies will almost always try to downplay their actions. Most of the time, their intention is to emotionally hurt or cause physical pain to their victims. Acting like they don’t mean to or trying to comfort the victim once they’ve caught her are ploys stalkers like to incorporate.

3) He pushed me first.

Between two students of the same size and social stature, perhaps that could happen. But, between the captain of the football team and the student who is barely noticeable on campus, it’s iffy. It is highly unlikely that a smaller, weaker student will push or try to intimidate a larger student.

4) His face flew into my fist.

Well, problem solved. Children will actually say this and expect us to believe them.

5) He tripped and fell alone.

Many students trip and fall every day at school. But, if you have a student complaining that another student is tripping them up or pushing them down, then it’s probably happening. One question educators can ask is the following: How many times a day/week do students report that this behavior is occurring? If the behavior is reported more than a few times a week, the alleged harasser is probably at fault.

6) Someone pushed me towards him.

Blaming others is what bullies do so well. Bullies at the elementary level love to push their classmates when they are in line. Since elementary school students stand in long lines, this happens quite often. Acting like someone is pushing them towards another student will be the first excuse bullies will use if they are accused of pushing another student. Put the harasser at the front or back of the line and keep a close eye on them.

7) She thought he was talking about her, but he wasn’t.

Relational bullying among girls is a big problem. Manipulating friendships and spreading rumors are ways that girls generally bully each other. This is a somewhat comical excuse because if the alleged harasser denies saying anything, it will be fairly easy to find ten or more girls who will admit that the harasser said something.

8) They deserve to be harassed because they are ugly, fat, don’t wear the right clothes, etc.

Nobody deserves to be bullied. Period. Bullies will try to justify their actions by blaming the victim. This is similar to racial discrimination.

9) Everyone harasses.

No, they do not do it. Only a small percentage of students are bullies. Bullies will say this to try to blame others. Their attitude is that if others are doing it, then it’s okay.

10) I did nothing.

This may be the easiest thing for students to say when they know they are in trouble. When a student says, “I didn’t do anything,” it almost always means, “I am guilty.” The phrase I did not do anything it has become such a part of children’s vocabulary that it almost automatically comes out of their mouths when accused of something.