Did your boyfriend leave you because you wouldn’t leave him alone? Did you drive him crazy with questions about where and who he was with?

This is a guaranteed way to lose a relationship. When a partner is insecure and jealous, everything is in danger. Being teased all the time for your every move would drive a wedge between even the most loving couples.

It all came to a head when your boyfriend went to a game with his friends and you accused him of being with another girl. He got over it and he told you. So now you’re all alone crying without the boy you thought you loved. What a mess. Didn’t you see the warning signs? How upset I was every time you showed how insecure you were. He thought he met a great girl like he told you but he didn’t sign up because of all your emotional baggage.

For now leave it alone as you have a lot of work to do on yourself. Your boyfriend was a quiet guy with lots of friends who loved you but you tried to change him. You wanted him to be with you twenty-four hours a day and for him not to have a life of his own. No offense, but he wasn’t your prisoner, just your partner. You needed to trust him and let him have his space.

So why have you become so insecure and jealous? First we have to see your last relationships and maybe we can find a boyfriend who cheats on you or controls you. You may have thought they were your soul mate until the day you caught him cheating on you with another woman. The problem is how it affected you. Instead of knowing this guy was an idiot, you projected all the negativity onto yourself. You swore you would never let it happen again so when you came in with your now ex-boyfriend you wouldn’t let it out of your sight. This resulted in you feeling anxious all the time and accusing him of doing the same thing as the other guy. You didn’t give your ex a chance because you decided he would cheat on you and you made it your ritual to make sure it didn’t happen again.

What a way to live. I can see you checking on the poor guys every move like some kind of super sleuth waiting to catch him. Instead, he got tired and left you. Who could blame him? He probably thought you were starting to act like some kind of stalker.

Just because a bad thing happens, you can’t take it with you to every relationship. You have to solve it and leave it at the door. Unless you’re in the habit of picking serial cheaters, which I highly doubt, chances are you’ve found a good one this time. The only way to get it back is to show that you’ve changed. You may need advice if you can’t do it on your own, as some wounds are very deep. It could be things from your childhood, even when dad may have cheated on your mom, so you think all men do this. Get the help you need and don’t let other people’s attitudes ruin your chance at a good relationship. I think you’re already exhausted anyway. It’s no fun having to check on your boyfriend all the time.

So, either with advice or on your own, get a handle on these insecurities and jealousies. If you think you have, then getting back to this guy is going to take some work. But it can be done. If you had taken my advice and not disturbed him while you were doing your own personal reconstruction, he would have noticed. The next thing he needs to do is go out with friends and have fun. Make sure you look really good, as you want him to appreciate what he saw the first time he asked you out. Do not show any signs of sadness or depression, as he will think that you are still the same.

You scared this guy, so getting him back won’t be easy. You could contact him and tell him that you’re sorry you put him through all that insecurity and that you know he’s a good guy. Then leave him alone again. Time will heal and if he sees you looking good and confident, you might have a chance. Next time let the poor guy breathe. If you get back together with him and feel those old insecurities creeping back up, take a deep breath and remind yourself that it’s a thing of the past.