Does the bully in your life use creative aggression techniques to manipulate and control you?

What is a “creative aggression technique” anyway?

It is a method of behavior used by the harasser that leaves the target feeling disrespected, deflated, misunderstood, and distant; not to mention confused, hurt and frustrated.

Being aware that there is a name for these techniques and that they actually occur is the first step in your transformation from a state of emotional turmoil and pain to a place of trust, protection and balance.

This is one of the “creative aggression techniques” that the harasser may be using on you:

“Making Crazy”

This is the hidden agenda or you can’t win, a double bind conversation where you’re stuck if you do and stuck if you don’t.

Is that how it works:

a) The harasser accuses you of behavior that they perceive you need to change.

b) You apologize, try to make amends, show concern to resolve. You enter their dissatisfaction with curiosity.

c) As soon as you do, the bully changes tack with a new problem or minimizes your efforts to make amends.

This is how you feel:

Confused – While trying to connect and resolve. Frustrated: Since you don’t know what else to do; You can’t seem to connect.

To remember:

The bully in the workplace creates crazy things to gain advantage and diminish his power. When you are confused and doubting yourself, you feel powerless.

What you can do:

1. Quickly identify and name this bullying behavior in the workplace as “doing crazy” and walk away from trying to work it out with the bully – it’s a no-win situation.

2. What you can say: “This is crazy, there is no room to solve this in a win-win way.”

P.S.. Having a short, clear statement that shows you are setting your boundary between yourself and the harasser gives you back your control and power. The benefit is that you won’t waste your time in confusion, amazement, and helplessness. This is Bully Proofing Yourself!