As an expert in leather repair and restoration, I receive emails with photos from people all over the country and beyond. Sometimes they look for solutions for rather foolish actions that have caused serious damage to their leather furniture. With 30 years of experience inspecting leather furniture, either on-site or in my leather restoration studio, I’ve also witnessed abuse firsthand and heard comments that prove idiocy is an occasional human phenomenon. Here is a list of my top ten dumbest in no specific order as anyone can take the top spot. Names are removed to protect your reputation.

1. I used my leather ottoman as an ironing board. The leather is totally shrunk and distorted. Can you help me?

2. I saw an article on the internet that said to use bleach to clean leather. It didn’t work that well. I guess the leather is clean, but it’s disintegrating on me. What I can do?

3. I steam cleaned my leather sofa with the upholstery attachment of my steam cleaner. The leather darkened and seemed to have shrunk. Please help!!

4. I was practicing my golf swing and put a hole in the back of my beautiful leather couch. It was a 6 iron. Is this something you can fix?

5. I had a party and moved my loveseat to my backyard. I had it too close to the barbecue. The entire back of my loveseat got fried. What I can do?

6. My 3-year-old got ink on my new leather cushion. After I disciplined him severely, I tried to remove the ink with alcohol as it says on some website. The ink is still there but the color of the leather is gone. (The customer brought the cushion to my shop. In this case, there was a scar of skin on the leather, and as is often the case, the scar tissue absorbed a higher concentration of color, making it darker than the leather that covered it.) surrounds, appearing to the client as a strip of ink. We restore color to the area affected by alcohol. The innocent child is still in therapy).

7. Arriving at the client’s home to inspect suspected leather defects on a huge new sectional, I noticed a few dozen sticky notes scattered here and there on the leather. The client applied them to show all the “defects”. In examining the first problem area, I pointed out that it was not a defect, but rather a natural characteristic of the leather. She seemed confused. So I explained that the cow may have rubbed against the barbed wire, causing the wound, and that she is completely healed and it is not a defect. She said; “What do you mean a cow?” I waved my arm at the sectional and replied, “Ma’am, you have a whole herd of cows here.” At that moment, she fell to the ground, sobbing, “What have I done? What have I done?” Turns out she’s a vegan and she had no idea the leather came from a cow. Oops.

8. When I was asked to do a traffic damage repair on a client’s home, I arrived on site with my senior technician. The client is a prominent physician and was present when he arrived. He and his designer went to another part of his house to talk about decorating. With the task completed, I called out to him and as he surveyed the repaired area, with a startled look on his face, he exclaimed, “It’s gone. How did you do that?” I cheerfully said, “We use lasers.” He called the designer on him to see the repair. When she arrived, he told her, “Look, the damage is gone. They use lasers to fix it.” I had to explain to the shy doctor that he was joking.

9. After painstakingly restoring a beautiful chair and ottoman at our Hayward store, the customer arrived in a van to bring the pieces home. He inspected the furniture and was delighted with the results. To prepare it for transit, we cover it with plastic and shrink wrap as is our normal practice. The client and I loaded it into the back of his truck. I asked him if he had rope to secure it. He assured me yes. At that time my office phone range. I went back to my office to take the call. The client left quickly. On its way over the San Mateo Bridge, at about 70 miles per hour, the loose furniture simulated a kite and rose silently from the bed of the truck, tumbling through the air like a wounded duck. Gravity took over. He flipped, spun, crashed and crashed. roadkill. 45 minutes later it was back at our store with a badly damaged part, including a broken frame. The cost to repair the damage exceeded the value of the part. It remains in my store as a relic and testimony to the fragility of the human brain.

10. A client owns an auto detailing shop. Your client has a BMW with a leather interior. The auto detailer assigned the interior cleaning task to one of his grease monkey technicians. Thinking it would be a quick and easy way to clean leather, he took his trusty engine degreaser and applied it vigorously to all the leather components. Of course, he removed the layer of color, revealing the rawhide. (As an aside, here’s a list of other chemicals our customers were told by so-called experts would be suitable for cleaning their leather: mayonnaise, acetone, milk, honey, baby oil, detergents of all kinds, chair soap. mount . )

Bonus Award: Customer called to say he cleaned his sofa with 409. Upon completion of the project, he realized that 409 is too aggressive and has severely distorted the color coating. He was shocked and was preparing to sue the manufacturer of 409. His reasoning for the lawsuit was that there was no warning on the label. not to use on leather. When I pointed out that there was also no warning about using it on the face, she didn’t get the connection. When asked why he didn’t stop after completing a section and noticing the damage, he explained that he thought that when he dried out completely he would be back to normal. Hey!

The takeaway here is to think before you act and if in any doubt contact a qualified leather restoration professional for advice.